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Monday, 26 May 2014

30 Days of submission: Day 7

Do you accept and/or expect discipline or punishments as a part of your submission?
How do you feel about it?

I've already briefly covered this in the last post (Day 6). With so many questions and with them all being quite in-depth, some of my answers might seem a little repetitive at times.
Discipline for me, personally, is more important than punishment is; although I am definitely the kind of submissive who benefits from the both. The difference between them is - Discipline is something I want.  Punishments are something I sometimes need but never really want.

I am aware of my personality traits both as a vanilla person and as a submissive woman.
When I first started out in the kink community, some Dominants who played with me would have labelled me a 'brat'. I think I've come a long way since then and while I definitely don't categorise myself under that label anymore, there are times where my more stubborn nature or my reluctance for certain things, still comes through. I answer back sometimes and I find if I feel more reigned in or disciplined, I am much less likely to do that. I am naturally quite a feisty person (at times) too. I don't seek confrontation and am generally considered a peace-maker amongst my friends and family. But arguments and disagreements rear their head occasionally and when they do... I can be hurtful. I will raise my voice or say nastier things than I would want to. It's often the case that I'll say something and then deeply regret it later. This is where I absolutely need discipline. For someone who has my submission already to just simply say to me... "Enough, now." or "Stop it, baby."
Scenarios like that and all I really need is a gentle but firm warning; it will usually stop me in my tracks and make me think about my next sentence much more carefully.

Sometimes it fails. I guess that's where punishments come into the equation.
I have an aversion to Dominants who threaten and never carry through. Don't get me wrong, I dislike any Dominant who wants to punish too easily or just because but for goodness sake - keep to your word.
Don't tell me "If you do this (insert wrong thing/broken rule) I will do this (insert punishment method, consequence)" - and then let it go and don't follow through with your threat - I will think you are a walkover. I will assume the upper-hand. I will have taken control, or more effectively - you will have given me it.

This being said, punishments for me... should be few and far between to make my relationship with anyone successful. I would want to fundamental rules and discipline structure to be strong enough already to prevent punishment in most cases. I know that I thrive well through discipline and that I can be a good partner, lover, friend and submissive when I simply know someone can reign me in when I need it.


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