30 Days of submission: Day 6

6) What do you feel are the roots of your submission? Do you think it has something to do with childhood? Is it a relationship management tool as in the practice of domestic discipline? Is it a sexual thrill or something else?

I often get asked this question and my answer is always the same - It is simply part of my DNA.
It's a common misconception that submissives and/or Dominants are usually created from being victims of childhood trauma or negative experience. While this is sometimes the case, it's actually quite rare. I've been asked whether I've been a victim of abuse, whether I have 'Daddy' issues or a problematic past which brings me to being submissive. The answer is 'no'.
I am submissive just because that's what comes naturally to me.


I've never been a micro-managed submissive and I highly doubt that kind of submission will ever appeal to me, but certainly... I like the aspect of 'management' that comes with any kind of Power Exchange. For me, I struggle with my own emotions - experiencing them and dealing with them and being submissive gives me a way of passing the responsibility on to someone who can better manage my feelings for me. I enjoy being taken care of. Ironically, my parents brought me up to believe that I'd never need a man to look after me  but it turns out I just don't want to be that independent. When it comes to my emotions, I want to be looked after.

I am a feisty person by nature too. Sometimes I am stubborn and I have an easily bored, addictive kind of personality. I can fall off the rails too easily at times and Domestic Discipline reigns me in, keeps me grounded. I don't just want that... I need it because it's beneficial to me and likewise, it's beneficial to my relationships.

Of course, much of what I do is a sexual thrill.. I'd be lying if I said being whipped or spanked or called certain names doesn't make me wet between the thighs. It does. A lot of what I've practiced have been erotic, sensual experiences which have heightened my sexuality a great deal. But even with the sexual acts of D/s... how I feel runs much deeper than that. The incredible sensation of handing over control - inside and outside of the bedroom - completely fulfils me.

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