I will always ask....

It's rare I get the chance to write about a post that's so fresh in my mind.
I usually get disconnected from the cyber responsibility of blogging while I rest in his arms, recollecting ourselves after we've made love. Or I'm busy, doing the every day things that must be done before the opportunity to open the laptop even comes around. But tonight, I could not have rested, put my head down and gone to sleep without coming here. It's fifteen minutes past bed-time, but even Sir has probably acknowledged the rare opening for a new blog post too - and willingly gave me the free time. I needed to write for two reasons - I want the outlet to express how I feel but more importantly - somewhere to come back to, to remind myself of what I have learned.

Separated by approximately 250 miles and often faced with the hurdles of becoming an established D/s dynamic - it's not always an obvious show of power exchange, sometimes we lose sight of the rules we set in place and I, more often than Sir, can forget that he always has control. But tonight, I was reminded, fiercely so - that I have given away my choice of freedom in exchange for something much more significant.

One of the 'rules' of our foundation is that I should always ask for the act of pleasuring myself, and then nearly always for the privilege of an orgasm, consequently.
Tonight, Sir and I got talking about what we'd enjoy doing if we were together...it was inevitable while we spoke about his gorgeous cock stretching my tight ass, while I bent over, wrists tied - that I would wind up touching myself. Caught up in our exchange of heated messages, I'm not sure I even noticed I was pleasuring myself until came the question...

Sir: "Are you touching yourself?"

I had two options. Lie... or admit my memory lapse of one of our strictest rules.

Me: "Maybe... a little."
Sir: "Why didn't you ask?"
Me: "I got carried away."
Sir: "If you want to pleasure yourself and feel good - you ask me."
Me: "Sorry, Sir. Can I carry on?" 
Sir: "You will make yourself come now until I say stop...
       "So, make yourself come Erica."

And boy God, was that just the start.

Gently fingering myself, feeling my aching pussy wrap around my fingers while my body poured out it's first orgasm, was incredible. And the second time - an amplified pleasure of my first, rippling through my core like a flood of ecstasy. I realised here, that my orgasms are better just through his command of them.
The third came, hard and fast and then  the forth.

The forth.

This was at the point I was ready to stop and told him so. The same point where Sir had just decided he was starting at.

"I will decide that, not you. Your body and your pleasure is mine to control. Do you understand?"

"Yes."

5...

"You're such a good girl..."

6...

"AGAIN."

7...no more.

I was done. My body ached. Sore, tender....

"We're not done. Come for me again."

8...

"Keep going, Erica."

9.

NINE.

Confident that my body hadn't really experienced enough of his power, he stretched me to the next goal post, asking another two orgasms from me. This time, to squirt. Both times.
As he told me exactly how he wanted me to bring myself to the point of soaking the bed sheets, my body followed his command... once...twice, per request and then a third time. Involuntary, exhausted and yet still coming from the rush of his Dominance.

"You can stop now."

and by that point - I needed it to. Tears rolling down my cheek, face flushed, body worn. Every muscle hurt. My cunt dripped wet, pleasured but aching.

"Have you been satisfied?" - Yeah, he actually asked that, sure that he'd made his mark.
"Next time you do what?"

"Ask....I should always ask."

"I say when  you can pleasure yourself, Erica. I am not ever likely to often say no. But when you strip that control from me, you will be reminded until you no longer need to be."



And just like that... if it ever wavered from my mind that he was completely in control of me, my knowledge of his Dominance and the presence of his power is more profound than I have felt it for some time. I have learned more from this than
to remember to ask for my pleasure.

I have learned that it is always better when he grants me permission to play.
Each orgasm is better when it is given. Not just taken.
My body is his - though it is just a part of me.

And that he has the power to change what 'pleasure' really means if he so chooses to.

Next time, I will ask. I will always ask.



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