tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-72378919086874397872024-03-18T21:35:14.621-07:00The Vanilla SubmissiveEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09233610907992704938noreply@blogger.comBlogger39125truetag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7237891908687439787.post-86714703912378745252015-04-10T14:18:00.002-07:002015-04-10T14:18:31.095-07:00The start of our forever<strong> </strong><br />
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<strong><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLLt1bkcGD41ZEmdIAbk6GLPiwnMuD91zi6eE3apIvOTR9KenTDh4rUlkkdp6nh5BOM4R9H9212JI3GH_T6CIa6Flc3L36iDBE-C5Uez0frGvoWpoH9yxnQCxOuwiV3HUhL_ka-YYHl6ow/s1600/resized_Photoxpress_5240098_phixr_3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLLt1bkcGD41ZEmdIAbk6GLPiwnMuD91zi6eE3apIvOTR9KenTDh4rUlkkdp6nh5BOM4R9H9212JI3GH_T6CIa6Flc3L36iDBE-C5Uez0frGvoWpoH9yxnQCxOuwiV3HUhL_ka-YYHl6ow/s1600/resized_Photoxpress_5240098_phixr_3.jpg" height="126" width="200" /></a></strong></div>
<strong>In just over a week's time, our whole lives are about to change as Sir and I make the move to bringing our family together for good. For over a year it's been a case of frequent visits, rushing memory building into short spaces of time and always having to say Goodbye. It's been a beautiful journey thus far, but it's been difficult too, emotional and tiring. A few months ago, Sir and I knew we had to make changes - it was becoming too hard on the heart to keep our family some two hundred mile distance apart and we all felt the strain. Amazingly, after just the second interview at a career opportunity that seemed too perfect to pass up on - we received the call that would cement our future and in just ten days from now - Sir and I will be living together, bringing up our beautiful children and building our first 'family home'.</strong> <br />
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I am a bundle of nerves and excitement. This is a huge lifestyle change, such a big commitment founded on the promises of our love for one another and we couldn't be happier than we are right now. I am overwhelmed with pride knowing that my beautiful daughters will be loved and raised by such a good man. I know there couldn't be a better role model to come into their lives and I am confident that his influence and guidance will be such a positive addition to their already wonderful personalities. Alongside this, I am appreciative that I have found someone who can love me so deeply and freely and passionately as Sir does me. Someone who will protect me and guide me and lead me. Someone who I can follow, in the sound knowledge that his way will always be the best way. <br />
<br />
To this point, our dynamic is really still a work in progress. It isn't perfect but it is most definitely beautiful and by all account, it gets stronger and better every day that we're together. There have been glitches though, bumps in the road in places we believed we had things all smoothed out. We've hit hurdles and made mistakes. We've achieved, succeeded and encouraged. We've learned - we are always learning. <br />
Throughout this adventurous choice of lifestyle, we've dared to dream. Even with the roads that keep us from physically holding one another sometimes - we've found moments where we've discussed our hopes and plans for the future; sharing our personal envisions of how we wish and believe our relationship might be some years from now. We want for the same things, we've learned. We have the same desires and now - we have a chance to start building the very foundations of our aspirations. <br />
<br />
We live by our general protocol as best we can already; but our time together is often hurried and rushed. Sometimes we lose the spare hours in a day where we can always give our best, achieve to our highest goals. Sometimes we forget to religiously stick by the disciplines we believe in because we are too concerned with wanting to simply 'make the most' of our time together. Household chores for example, are a low priority next to a lazy morning in bed with Sir. The truth is this though, in being apart we have needed to relax in the areas we could afford to, to keep our relationship so strong and in being together - we will need to be deeper committed to our ground rules to make our relationship prosper. Until now, we have held it all together - now what's left is to make it what we truly want it. <br />
<br />
<em>Things are going to shift and change.</em> <br />
<br />It'll seem strange at first, making the transition to a tighter run ship but we both know and acknowledge that the change is necessary for us to prosper and we both want that change.<br />Suddenly , I am faced with the reality of day-to-day living, where things are run so smoothly there's rarely a hitch in the protocol we lay out. My entire day from waking to sleeping will be lived by Sir's command. I will become so submissive in all areas of my life and Sir's Dominance is about to reach new heights, surrounding me more than it has ever been able to before now.<br />
Of course, this shift will not be immediate; instead - a slower progression, a softer transition from where we are now to the pin marking the place we long to be. I am excited to see the changes that await our relationship, but more importantly us - as individuals. We will come to know ourselves far better than we could have imagined, learn things about ourselves we've been strangers to until now. I am eagerly anticipating the day I can meet my submission at it's absolute most profound and seeing who I will have become by then. I am overwhelmed with excitement of seeing Sir at his best, his Dominance at it's full capacity and acknowledging the finest yet still unseen details of the man I have chosen to commit my life to.<br />
<br />
I don't plan for very much in my life, always being the more free spirited kind of person but I do now, plan on something. On our first day of what will be the start of the rest of our lives together- <br />
<br />
<strong>I will kneel before Sir. I will offer him my wrists to bind. Bowed before him, heart heavy with the weight of my love and submission - I will vow to serve him to my best, to take his lead, to live by his will, to follow his intuition, to trust, to hope, believe, give, commit and submit. I will promise to surrender all of myself to the man I wish to guide me every day of the rest of my life and I will love him beyond what he ever could have dreamed was possible.</strong><br />
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Ehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09233610907992704938noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7237891908687439787.post-17511744247684771442015-03-27T15:37:00.002-07:002015-03-27T15:37:56.367-07:00Why I choose submission<strong></strong><br />
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<strong>Control is the centre piece of my life and it is the foundation of which keeps my feet grounded. <br />It is something I rely on - to make my days run smoothly and effortlessly; to instil and encourage my wealth of self-confidence and peace of mind. It is the pivotal point of which I govern my entire life around - but I do not have it, I do not own it and it is not mine...</strong><br />
<strong></strong><br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
I made the decision some time ago to release my control and instead, allow the man whom loves me the opportunity of responsibility. He accepted my offer of submission and his duty to Dominance since, has led us both to enjoy a blissfully happy relationship. Despite the interwoven complexities of a power-exchange dynamic like ours - when asked by outsiders to define the structure of our relationship, it really comes down to something very simple -<em> Sir leads and I follow.</em> <br />
<br />
In the modern day era of now, where we, as a majority are taught to fend for ourselves and be adequately self-sufficient, some may view my lifestyle choices as old-fashioned and chauvinistic. While I can see the mild connections between myself and a 1950's housewife, more often others fail to understand the reasons beyond tradition that enable me to choose to live life in a way that deeply fulfils me. <br />
I do not submit to Sir to remain traditional and having a Dominant/submissive power exchange is not something we have chosen to do as to casually live out our relationship in a time capsule. My submission was not born from an inner fight against feminism or a rebellion against women's rights; instead, it is a part of me so deep rooted that when discovered it, I could not choose to live my life any other way - and I wouldn't want to. I believe it is my true calling to serve. <br />
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In my servitude to Sir, I am surrounded by opportunities to feel better, be better and live better. It encourages me to evolve and grow and prosper beyond what I could have dreamed possible some years before finding myself. It gives me purpose and reason and ambition. More than this, through serving him, I learn to love and I learn that love can be something so much more meaningful, powerful and beautiful when it is truly felt in such intimate ways. Sir is forever showing me new facets of my own personality for through his guidance, he leads me to discovering parts of myself I would have long neglected upon my own path. Life is more beautiful under Sir's leadership. <br />
In being given the chances to submit to him; I am given the freedom of expressing myself completely. I can expose my soul before him without fear of judgement. Sir knows and understands all my secrets, my deepest desires and darkest fantasies. Often, he will share them with me and offer the time for us to connect through an exploration of some of our most wildest dreams. <br />
<br />
My submission is less about sex than it is living, though. <br />
<br />
Through submitting, I no longer half-exist, just gravitating through my days with no real accomplish. Now, from the moment I open my eyes to the time I close them again, I am always reaching for the next small milestone; achieving a command he's earlier given, accomplishing a rule he has set out for us. I am always working towards something with the expectation to succeed. There is ambition in submission that can not be met in other ways. There is satisfaction that can not be known without his Dominance. <br />
<br />
It is never easy to explain to people who have not ventured the same journey as us, how fulfilling a relationship like ours can be but it is a deeply moving and connective love that exceeds the ordinary boundaries of love and commitment. It is a way of loving and being that allows us both the opportunity to flourish under our promises to one another. It is something that inspires us, pushes us and occasionally tests us but essentially, it is something that makes us, defines us - something that <em>is</em> us. <br />
<br />
Being his submissive means I am forever moved, inspired and loved; and I choose to live this way because I am confident no other way can be so beautiful as that.<br />
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<br />Ehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09233610907992704938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7237891908687439787.post-44128688958893466202015-03-22T07:40:00.004-07:002015-03-22T07:50:21.999-07:00A stronger submissive<br />
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<strong>Stood facing the blank white walls of our lounge, I wanted to cry. <br />All the emotions I knew I'd feel were there but much more profound than I imagined they would be. Shame, guilt, disappointment. <br />I could feel Sir's eyes occasionally checking over on me, watching as I stood silent - thinking about my earlier infractions. The room was quiet except for the sounds of his thinking and mine. Ten minutes is a short passage of time but wrists bound and nose so close to the plasterboard - it seemed to last beyond what felt remotely comfortable.</strong> <br />
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Of course, corner-time was just the start of the punishment - the prelude to the caning I had been nervously awaiting. In the time I stood there, quietly reminding myself of why this was necessary, I built up an enormity of anxious anticipation; my body already trembling ahead of the pain I didn't feel ready to take. I felt all my usual masochistic desires and tendencies leave my soul completely and just like that - the thought of experiencing pain became a very unattractive prospect.<br />
<br />
As Sir came over and took me away from the corner, he told me to strip and bend over the arm of our sofa. His voice calm and collected but firm - probably more firm than I had ever heard him speak to me before; he reminded me of the reasons we were here and what I had done. His voice reassured me less than it cemented his disappointment into my heart - and it weighed heavy. Part of me wanted to fight his decision to punish me, call out in invalid safeword before we'd even started or maybe even try to talk him down but the better part of me told myself to remain composed, accept my failures and pay the consequence and so I arched my back and raised my ass and Sir hit. <br />
<br />
<strong>It hurt.</strong> <br />
<br />
The first stroke brought on the first tear and the same part of me that earlier wanted to fight this now wanted a sense of numbness to follow the force, a way to continue without mentally engaging but of course - I could not switch off and instead my own shame amplified the sensation of every strike, each one much more intense than the last. At the final hit, Sir held me. Wrapped in his loving arms, I cried into his chest as he told me he had forgiven me now and I must do the same and as he told me to close my eyes and envision stepping over an imaginary line - I did exactly that. And there came what we both so desperately needed - <em>Closure.</em><br />
<br />
My skin burned. Welts hurt me deeper than what could be seen on the surface of my reddened skin but my mind had been cleansed. The positive effects of his punishment came instantly; there was no wait for the result to show. <br />
It is hard to explain to anyone who has never experienced this - how good it is to feel yourself becoming better; the transformation to a deeper submission starting to birth on the inside. Neither could I begin to explain the level of trust exchanged between two people to allow such an intimately intense moment to happen. It is wholesome - so complete that it leaves absolutely no room for doubt. <br />
<br />
The welts lasted some four days, long enough that I could see and feel them every time I woke up in the mornings but the part of me that has been bettered, I hope will last for years to come and never leave me.<br />
<br />
<em> I am a stronger submissive today but I am only so because Sir took me there. </em><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><a href="http://muslimvillage.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/sorry.jpg" target="_blank">Picture Credit</a></span>Ehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09233610907992704938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7237891908687439787.post-19633915837065231182015-03-14T07:11:00.006-07:002015-03-14T07:17:53.573-07:00Physical Punishment - the first one<strong></strong><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrYGy-0ffJkDSDhVGmJYZJvq2-mLqkYiEF8KEfIbSqL-fvnkAHiBTkTRswtUk_-i60U5AdZNz05afJVW70z8yLkeitZvxsdLWdK6bk4gB0NTMZ6K7HQiT-1KEeT9Xpsgba3BouUEqJSsHV/s1600/576_Hard_Caning.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrYGy-0ffJkDSDhVGmJYZJvq2-mLqkYiEF8KEfIbSqL-fvnkAHiBTkTRswtUk_-i60U5AdZNz05afJVW70z8yLkeitZvxsdLWdK6bk4gB0NTMZ6K7HQiT-1KEeT9Xpsgba3BouUEqJSsHV/s1600/576_Hard_Caning.jpg" height="118" width="200" /></a><strong>I'm apprehensive. I'm due a punishment and I believe Sir has chosen the one he knows will hit the hardest, both literally and emotionally.<br />Now I'm not naïve enough to believe I don't deserve it; infact, I'm fully aware that my behaviour of late has more than warranted a punishment to be served. This doesn't mean I want it though.</strong><br />
<strong>Of course, no submissive ever desires to be punished but sometimes it's a necessity and in my case wherever there's a need for punishment - it will almost always be necessary. </strong><br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
The punishment element of our dynamic is fairly new. It's something that we haven't had until very recently and while in it's absence, everything still seemed to work really quite smoothly; Sir and I have both known and understood I am a better and stronger submissive when I am a disciplined one. Although discipline and punishment are different things altogether, for myself and for many others - the two combined have a positive effect on the personality and submission.<br />
It's important to mention I have been completely consensual to being punished. It isn't a forced act and it's a decision Sir and I took plenty of time to think about before agreeing together to implement it into our relationship.<br />
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<strong>So, why the anxiousness for something I am willing to have?</strong><br />
<br />
It's not our first punishment. One came prior to this a short while ago when I swore. Sir has an expressed wish for me not to use bad language and it was spoken about that each profanity would result in a minute's corner time - I've spent the best part of twenty minutes there. It was a punishment he dealt and I served while we were apart. It was difficult, it hurt and I cried - but I learned. No, my behaviour in that area isn't perfect even now but Sir and I would both agree that it has become infinitely better.<br />
<br />
However, the next punishment will be in person. It'll be our first physical punishment. It will be my first physical punishment in over two years and for Sir, it will be the <em>very</em> first time he has ever punished the person he loves, or anyone at all. These factors bring a lot of questions. Will he be able to carry out the punishment to the end? Will I find it difficult to submit to his correction?<br />
Sir has chosen the cane - 15 strokes to be exact. To some, those with a masochistic appreciation for the sting of a rattan, that may not seem like much but to me, unless Sir hits rather lightly - it seems a lot and I'm under no illusion he'll go gentle, for what purpose would it serve to give me a sexual thrill instead? <br />
<br />
Like any Dominant and submissive know - there's more to punishment than what hits the skin. There's the lecture beforehand that will reaffirm the reasons for the punishment going ahead; reminding me of my failure and Sir's own words to me reminding himself of the reasons he must correct my behaviour for the sake of our relationship. Then comes the quiet and isolation - those few moments in the corner straight before the corporal dealing. The time to consider, think, revaluate and prepare to learn a lesson and time for Sir to collect his own thoughts, rid any anger or frustration he may have felt when I hurt him and become focused instead. <br />
<br />
But by the time that's all over and it's time to take the strokes - I will already be hurting. My failures recognised, his disappointment profound. There may be tears and there will definitely be an ache for both of us. A sense of sadness we reached the point of needing this, sadness that my behaviour was nowhere near good enough. But there will be love - I will carry a sense of determination to already do better. Sir will feel an inner battle of wanting to protect me and correct me; and ultimately, it will be the correction must come to protect and for us to prosper. <br />
<br />
Though, will he still remain strong and see it through? Will he push past that first-time conflict of emotion and stand by his decision to punish? Will he continue when I weep in his arms and my tears hurt him too? And will I remain composed? Accept that my own infractions brought us here and stay calm in the realisation Sir will do this to better me? Will I remember that once the hurt is done, it is over - complete closure? Will I remind myself through a heavy heart that this means many things - that Sir has forgiven me, I can forgive myself and we can move on; I can do better, be better and most of all - that I can trust him completely to know what is right for us?<br />
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<em>My thoughts are mixed. My feelings are tangled in a knot. I am nervous, anxious and dreading the sting of the cane on my bare skin but for it to be able to do that, evoke those kinds of emotions inside of myself then it is already becoming effective and I remain positively sure I need his correction - however much the disappointment of it, hurts.</em><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><a href="http://cdn.onlybdsmtube.com/onl/thumbs/53/576_Hard_Caning.jpg" target="_blank">Photo Credit</a></span>Ehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09233610907992704938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7237891908687439787.post-58824240985764241242014-12-30T16:23:00.002-08:002014-12-30T16:30:49.816-08:00I will always ask....<br />
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<strong>It's rare I get the chance to write about a post that's so fresh in my mind. <br />I usually get disconnected from the cyber responsibility of blogging while I rest in his arms, recollecting ourselves after we've made love. Or I'm busy, doing the every day things that must be done before the opportunity to open the laptop even comes around. But tonight, I could not have rested, put my head down and gone to sleep without coming here. It's fifteen minutes past bed-time, but even Sir has probably acknowledged the rare opening for a new blog post too - and willingly gave me the free time. I needed to write for two reasons - I want the outlet to express how I feel but more importantly - somewhere to come back to, to remind myself of what I have learned.</strong><br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
Separated by approximately 250 miles and often faced with the hurdles of becoming an established D/s dynamic - it's not always an obvious show of power exchange, sometimes we lose sight of the rules we set in place and I, more often than Sir, can forget that he always has control. But tonight, I was reminded, fiercely so - that I have given away my choice of freedom in exchange for something much more significant.<br />
<br />
One of the 'rules' of our foundation is that I should always ask for the act of pleasuring myself, and then nearly always for the privilege of an orgasm, consequently. <br />
Tonight, Sir and I got talking about what we'd enjoy doing if we were together...it was inevitable while we spoke about his gorgeous cock stretching my tight ass, while I bent over, wrists tied - that I would wind up touching myself. Caught up in our exchange of heated messages, I'm not sure I even noticed I was pleasuring myself until came the question...<br />
<br />
Sir: <em>"Are you touching yourself?"</em><br />
<br />
I had two options. Lie... or admit my memory lapse of one of our strictest rules. <br />
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Me: <em>"Maybe... a little."</em><br />
Sir: <em>"Why didn't you ask?"</em><br />
Me: <em>"I got carried away."</em><br />
Sir: <em>"If you want to pleasure yourself and feel good - you ask me."</em><br />
Me: <em>"Sorry, Sir. Can I carry on?"</em> <br />
Sir: <em>"You will make yourself come now until I say stop...</em><br />
<em> "So, make yourself come Erica."</em><br />
<br />
And boy God, was that just the start.<br />
<br />
Gently fingering myself, feeling my aching pussy wrap around my fingers while my body poured out it's first orgasm, was incredible. And the second time - an amplified pleasure of my first, rippling through my core like a flood of ecstasy. I realised here, that my orgasms are better just through his command of them.<br />
The third came, hard and fast and then the forth. <br />
<br />
<em><strong>The forth.</strong></em><br />
<br />
This was at the point I was ready to stop and told him so. The same point where Sir had just decided he was starting at.<br />
<br />
<em>"I will decide that, not you. Your body and your pleasure is mine to control. Do you understand?"<br /><br />"Yes."</em><br />
<br />
<strong>5...</strong><br />
<br />
<em>"You're such a good girl..."</em><br />
<br />
<strong>6...</strong><br />
<br />
<em>"AGAIN."</em><br />
<br />
<strong>7...<em><u>no more.</u></em></strong> <br />
<br />
I was done. My body ached. Sore, tender.... <br />
<br />
<em>"We're not done. Come for me again."</em><br />
<br />
<strong>8...</strong><br />
<br />
<em>"Keep going, Erica."</em><br />
<br />
<strong>9.</strong><br />
<br />
<strong>NINE.</strong> <br />
<br />
Confident that my body hadn't really experienced enough of his power, he stretched me to the next goal post, asking another two orgasms from me. This time, to squirt. Both times.<br />
As he told me exactly how he wanted me to bring myself to the point of soaking the bed sheets, my body followed his command... once...twice, per request and then a third time. Involuntary, exhausted and yet still coming from the rush of his Dominance. <br />
<br />
<em>"You can stop now."</em> <br />
<br />
and by that point - I needed it to. Tears rolling down my cheek, face flushed, body worn. Every muscle hurt. My cunt dripped wet, pleasured but aching. <br />
<br />
"Have you been satisfied?" - Yeah, he actually asked that, sure that he'd made his mark.<br />
"Next time you do what?"<br />
<br />
<em>"Ask....I should always ask."</em><br />
<br />
<em>"I say when you can pleasure yourself, Erica. I am not ever likely to often say no. But when you strip that control from me, you will be reminded until you no longer need to be."</em><br />
<em></em><br />
<em></em><br />
<br />
And just like that... if it ever wavered from my mind that he was completely in control of me, my knowledge of his Dominance and the presence of his power is more profound than I have felt it for some time. I have learned more from this than<br />
to remember to ask for my pleasure.<br />
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I have learned that it is always better when he grants me permission to play.<br />
Each orgasm is better when it is given. Not just taken.<br />
My body is his - though it is just a part of me. <br />
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And that he has the power to change what 'pleasure' really means if he so chooses to. <br />
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<em>Next time, I will ask. I will <strong>always</strong> ask.</em><br />
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<a href="http://elitedaily.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/elite-daily-orgasm.jpg" target="_blank"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Photo Credit</span></a>Ehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09233610907992704938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7237891908687439787.post-81181808317668097012014-12-03T14:27:00.000-08:002014-12-03T14:27:20.052-08:00Q&A: "Where are you?"<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzZMk7sFDi3eLb5GnKpcNMceYM2_rydWHvzkv2XePaW0tLzPXNIisp2CtpSbxdUEKGbqdfSJuxAmsT034FWLj6XnJqACBBUOYWLGqyuOMZa99QkVk5KdbSg_6U6vu28k_YfOOQVZv0iTvs/s1600/imagesCAHRSGTX.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzZMk7sFDi3eLb5GnKpcNMceYM2_rydWHvzkv2XePaW0tLzPXNIisp2CtpSbxdUEKGbqdfSJuxAmsT034FWLj6XnJqACBBUOYWLGqyuOMZa99QkVk5KdbSg_6U6vu28k_YfOOQVZv0iTvs/s1600/imagesCAHRSGTX.jpg" height="200" width="151" /></a></div>
<strong>Q. I've noticed you've been very quiet on the new blog even though you've explained you're now in a D/s relationship. I thought you would be posting more regularly but it hasn't been the case. Is your relationship with Daniel still a D/s one or have you guys gone back to having a more vanilla kind of relationship? I'm sure your more regular blog visitors would love to hear an update.</strong><br />
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A. When I logged on to my emails a couple of nights ago, I realised I had over forty questions waiting to be answered on the blog. I chose to answer yours this week because while you and several others may like an update - more to the point is that you probably deserve one. I apologise for my frequent absent spells since moving to the new blog. <br />
To answer your question, Daniel, or 'Sir' as I'll now refer to him on here; are still committed to having a Dominant/submissive relationship. As can be expected with any couple taking the path of power-exchange, there have been several bumps in the road and I suspect I won't be wrong in saying it's likely we have many more hurdles to jump over yet but for now things are good. <br />Our biggest and perhaps only real issue we've had while trying to establish a smooth transition from vanilla-to-D/s relationship has been inconsistency. I believe firmly we've both contributed to the cracks in our dynamic up until now but we are working together to correct things with the keen desire to strengthen our relationship and achieve the lifestyle we both want. However, where things have not been so certain and there's been concern about whether we can solidify our dynamic - my motivation to find the time and effort to blog, has been less. Until much more recently, I haven't genuinely known my feelings enough to write about them and while I regret not posting as frequently as I would have liked to in the last few months, I also know my relationship needed and has benefited from the time and effort I've been trying to put there, instead. <br />
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Sir and I have spoken about the amount of time I spend blogging, and I have been asked to put the blog on my list of priorities from now on. <br />
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Thanks for taking the time out to email me, I hope you'll continue to visit here.<br />
Ehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09233610907992704938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7237891908687439787.post-20715804076407827732014-10-26T15:26:00.002-07:002014-10-26T15:26:30.761-07:00Being his 'babygirl'.<br />
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<strong>Sir is working a shift pattern of four consistent nights. While we still live apart (with keen interest for that to change in the near future) the long hours can feel a little draining. For him, it's a physical and emotional stretch and for me, it is an empty feeling of missing his company. The good news is, in less than a week now I'll be with him again. His arms wrapped tightly around me as we share the bed and his face, the first that I see in the morning. Those moments - when we are both here together - are magical.</strong><br />
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Sir left only a few days ago after spending the best part of the week with myself and the children. It was a good week - we enjoyed quality time with the little ones, scheduled in some quiet pub lunches alone and experienced our dynamic becoming stronger and more evolved as the days rolled on. We may be some 250 miles away for the majority of our time, but Sir and I make it amongst our top priorities to talk to one another. We find the time to discuss our relationship wants, needs and desires. We tell each other the things we've enjoyed so far, the ideas we're playing around with and want to try and the things we know definitely don't or won't work for us.<br />
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Before his last trip home to us all, we'd exchanged quite a few text messages about experimenting with things we've not done before, more specifically - Kitten Play and a 'babygirl' element within our dynamic. While pet play is not new to me, for Sir it is something he's not really tried with someone prior to our relationship and the 'babygirl' element is something we are both relatively inexperienced with. I'd be lying if I said there isn't and hasn't always been a more 'little' side to myself. There is, it is definitely there and Sir has probably been aware of that since the earlier stages of our relationship. Occasionally, I retreat to the comfort of an old fleeced blanket and a colouring book. Recently, in the last couple of months - Sir and I went on a shopping spree to find a new 'blankie' to replace my old one, he bought me a new colouring book filled with pictures of cupcakes, fairies and magic. These things all came about before any discussion of actually being his 'babygirl'. He just accepted that side of me as he did the rest of me and never once questioned it, or made me feel uncomfortable with it. If anything - he did the exact opposite. <br />
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Speeding this back up to date; the texts between Sir and I within the last couple of weeks have probably been encouraged by dreams both of us have had, or conversations based around more recent thoughts that maybe my little side could be an attractive element of our dynamic. We explained to one another that each of us felt experimenting with it could be something we enjoyed but we were unsure. It was unfamiliar territory to us both and something neither of us were at all interested in before or with anyone else. Our conversations were left with no plans to actually try it out but rather just left us both with a very open mind.<br />
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Half way through the week of him being here, while laying on our bed, Sir suggested I wear a diaper.<br />I wasn't completely sure at first if his suggestion was a serious one or not but when he mentioned it again while I contemplated what to wear to bed, I knew that he genuinely wanted me to. He left to go downstairs and watch the TV while I went into the bathroom to change. Pulling the diaper up over my waist felt good. A tight fit already, as I did up the under-side poppers on a pink-fleeced vest securing the diaper even closer to my body - it fit snugly, pressing against me in all the right places. <br />
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I came downstairs to sit with Sir on the sofa. He held me close to him, with my head rested in his lap and my new Hello-Kitty fleece draped over the rest of my body. His hands stroked my back occasionally as I lay close to him, just relaxed in his company. While it would usually be that if Sir or I wanted a drink, I'd go get them - he made a specific point of telling me that if I got thirsty, I was to tell him and he would get it. <br />
There was nothing sexual about the evening spent like that. Instead, I found that I felt peaceful resting beside him in the knowledge I was comfortably in my 'little' place. There's something quite cathartic about feeling *so* much smaller than him and his instinctively protective nature seemed more Dominant than ever - I have always been in love with his fiercely protective streak and being his 'babygirl' meant that I felt much more closely connected to that side of him. It was blissful. <br />
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When we left the lounge to go up to bed, Sir asked if I wanted a drink to take with me - I went upstairs and he followed shortly after, meeting me in the bedroom with a drink in hand. As I sipped slowly through a straw, propped up in a 'zoo animal' plastic cup filled with orange juice - I smiled at the thought he'd even considered that. But then, unsurprised - because Sir is always thoughtful in anything he does. <br />
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I could tell you now that Sir is gorgeous though I may need to add a photo to show you just how much that's true...and I have learned that it's inevitable I will want to suck his cock the minute he starts to undress and so that evening was no different than any other and as I got down on my knees, to take him into my mouth, I recalled the day before where he'd quietly murmured the words.... <em>"Suck Daddy's cock like a good little girl."</em> <strong>My god</strong>...it was the first time he'd ever said that to me and even now, when I repeat the moment in my mind... I get wet between the thighs. <br />Almost desperate to hear him talk to me like that again, I eagerly pleasured his cock with my tongue, filling my mouth with every inch of him, eyes feasted on his perfect body stood tall against me.<br />He didn't repeat the words from the night before, but I know if he had done - I'd have probably come, instantly. Nonetheless, I enjoyed the pleasure of pleasuring him - not stopping until I'd savoured his hot load at the back of my throat. <br />
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Afterwards, we went to bed together. He wrapped his arms around me, encasing me and holding me closely to him. I fell asleep to the sound of his heartbeat and the words "Sweet dreams, little one", still diapered and in my vest - feeling more loved, protected and safe than I could put into words. <br />
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I look back on that night now and realise I enjoyed being his babygirl more than I maybe anticipated I would and my mind and body definitely respond well to the idea of him being the 'Daddy' Dominant on occasion. I don't know if we'll do that again in future but a part of me hopes we might. For me, I could see it being a part of my submission, rather than the majority of and that some days he'll just want me to be little and I can enjoy being there when he asks for it.<br />
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Ehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09233610907992704938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7237891908687439787.post-85611469548504794432014-10-25T14:25:00.000-07:002014-10-25T14:26:33.397-07:00I am..... happy.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<strong>It can be difficult to get back into the swing of things when you've been out of something for so long. <br />I guess Blogging became much like that for me, once my submission and lifestyle choices changed so much. I went from being a blog fanatic, with a huge readership and credible online presence to being a silent partner in the cyber-world of BDSM. But then, before I had plenty to say, sometimes I had too much to say. And suddenly, all that changed because becoming a 'vanilla' person meant my thoughts and voice about the lifestyle became quieter. My mind was quieter.</strong> <br />
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~Fast forward to here, I can't begin to explain how much this has changed again. My life is forever evolving - and at the moment, it's happening in ways I can't properly comprehend. I am happier than I could have imagined being. Life is blissfully good. <br />
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So, I logged on today for the first time in - well, quite some time. I found that people were still coming here, readers still showing their interest in my blog. It was a good surprise and I can only hope that some of the reader views come from people who've always regularly visited. And if so, then you'll know about the changes, the decisions, the relationship highs and lows over the last year. Twelve months ago, I got in touch with a man who changed my life. You'll find the more detailed version of our 'love story' throughout the blog pages so I won't bore you with a repeat run-down but in the short nut-shell version, Daniel* and I started our relationship as two very different people trying to maintain a very unstable vanilla relationship. We have evolved into a like-minded couple, venturing down the route of D/s - it's been an incredible journey, and I am confident it can only get better. It's been a rocky path and we've had our fair share of challenges but we've settled at a place we can both be happy at and so I have a profound feeling this is just the start of Sir and I. <br />
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I'm going to leave this post as a relatively short one because while there's so much to say, it would be better said over a period of time in separate posts. This update and first-in-forever blog post is merely me taking the time to rekindle my love for blogging, in the same way Sir (Gosh, that feels so good to write!) has rekindled my desire for submission. I am in a happy, peaceful place, under the guidance and love of a Dominant who has exceeded any expectation I could ever have had. I am effortlessly in love with a man who can only serve to better me as he is so wonderful himself. <br />
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I am committed, devoted, loved, protected.... I am elated.<br />
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<a href="http://andrewbolis.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/be-happy.jpg" target="_blank"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Picture Credit</span></a><br />
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<br />Ehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09233610907992704938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7237891908687439787.post-45653320311557676752014-09-03T03:11:00.000-07:002014-09-03T03:12:05.660-07:0030 Days of submission: Day 13<br />
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<strong>Day 13: Is sexual availability, being available to your partner any time he or she wants, part of your submission? Why or why not? Are there limits to this?</strong><br />
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When I submit, I want to submit completely and I want my Dominant partner to have all of me, always. I guess this means that sexual availability is usually always very present in my Dominant/submissive relationships. <br />
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Of course, I always want to right to remain able to use my safe word if needed (although I've very rarely used one.) My sexual appetite can vary dependant on whether I'm feeling poorly or hurting but I would trust my Dominant to know me well enough that he wouldn't ask sex of me if he believed I was physically unable to and neither would he want it for himself during such time. So this still equates to me being sexually available to him at any time he desired. In fact, I really enjoy the idea that my partner could literally whisper in my ear that I should bend over and allow him to take me - just randomly at any time of the day. It's one of the hottest parts of practicing D/s - never knowing when you will simply just be taken but knowing you'll love it every time.<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><a href="http://images.sex.com/images/pinporn/2014/01/07/236/4579039-bondage.jpg" target="_blank">Picture Credit</a></span>Ehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09233610907992704938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7237891908687439787.post-9621712708176230922014-08-27T12:46:00.001-07:002014-08-27T12:46:08.967-07:00Where we are at.<br />
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<strong>The truth is, I don't know where we go from here.</strong><br />
<strong>All I can hope is that we're going <em>somewhere</em>.</strong><br />
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<strong>Daniel left to go back home yesterday. <br />Living nearly 150 miles apart, separated by a bridge and a very large river was never going to be easy and we both knew that when we chose to make the commitment of love to one another. <br />We didn't stop our romance because of the distance or the hardships that may arise from being apart and more than this, even after we'd established our personal differences were in fact so different they would likely cause occasional rows and frustration - we continued to want a future together. I don't regret my decision to be with Daniel ever and I hope he feels the same way but just sometimes, I'm made all too aware of the issues that occur when you throw a kinkster with a vanilla and tie them into a relationship together. It was never going to be an easy ride.</strong> <br />
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Only two weeks ago I was floating, coming here to tell you all that Daniel and I have made the decision to move forward as a D/s couple. Now, I know titles and labels aren't all what they often appear to be, but the dynamic that sits comfortably behind what we call ourselves really is important and it seems our 'dynamic' isn't there at all. We'd talked a lot before introducing the lifestyle into our relationship. We'd discussed things in great depth, he asked questions, I answered them. He'd soaked up information through lifestyle sites and books, he'd watched videos on rope bondage and tutorials and even went along to a local munch and made friends with like-minded people close to him. We didn't walk into a Dominant/submissive dynamic with our eyes closed. We'd deliberated, negotiated, experimented. We were both sure. Or I thought we were. <br />
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This time seeing Daniel would have been our first physical time together since we brought the arrangement into us. He'd been my Dominant for a while before this week and I loved being submissive to him even if it couldn't be physical. I was patiently, eagerly waiting to show my submission to him in person; to fall into his hold of Dominance in a more connected way but it didn't happen like that.<br />
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It's been a tough and energy consuming month for the both of us and we've been tired, grouchy and not really 100% ourselves. I'd be lying if I said I don't believe that's all contributed to our lack of dynamic. Maybe it has. It probably has. But even so, it remains that we definitely are not practicing a strengthened power exchange and if all those factors are what's buckled the foundations of our dynamic, then even if D/s is what we both want, now is probably not the right time for it.<br />
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Before we began D/s we discussed the possibility it may not work between us and we'd then go back to how we were and I think, although the conversation wasn't heavily specific or in-depth, that we've agreed to go back to there this week. I'm unsure how I feel about that. A bit deflated, a lot apprehensive and somewhat sad. But I'm glad to still have Daniel, I'm grateful that we're still an item and that we're both still positively sure about our long-term desire to be together. <br />
'Vanilla' is the wrong term maybe. I'm pretty sure that I'd consider our relationship 'Kinky-Vanilla' when we take the Dominant/submissive out of the equation. Daniel is naturally kinky, he might not have acknowledged it before our relationship but it is there and we both are aroused by rough sex and experimental play. There's a sadistic side to him when the curtains close for bed time and it appeals to my masochistic sexual desires. We like it dirty, we like it hot and together - sexually, we'll probably always be very compatible. <strong>Even the night before he left, he had the most incredible exchange of power control, in the bedroom. He was sensationally hot, I was completely consumed</strong>. The addition of Kink into our sex life is not something we had at the start of our relationship but I can see it being something that remains even when the dynamic doesn't. <br />
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So where are we at? In a good place, still. We're serious about each other and we want to keep working towards being closer together. I've no plans to leave Daniel in the near future and I know that's mutual. A D/s lifestyle may well be the wrong one for us, but love is right for us both. We're crazy about each other and that won't change. Our relationship may have several bumps in the road yet but we'll continue to love, give, care and understand each other and our bedroom activities are promised to be fun! <br />
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<a href="http://i1123.photobucket.com/albums/l543/hercampusphoto/Concepts%20and%20Emotions/Love%20and%20sex/long-distance-relationship.jpg" target="_blank"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Picture credit</span></a>Ehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09233610907992704938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7237891908687439787.post-28555059305724000722014-08-15T06:54:00.003-07:002014-08-15T07:00:33.653-07:00Breaking the rules.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<strong>When I told Daniel about Dominance and submission, what it was all about and more specifically, how I am as a submissive woman I probably portrayed an image a far distance from what he's so far, experienced. <br />Less than two weeks into this new adventure within our relationship and I can already see the discrepancies for myself. </strong><br />
<strong>You see, I told him - a submissive woman submits because she yearns to. She hands over the control out of love and respect and the Dominant man - well he takes it, for the exact same reasons. </strong><br />
<strong>I told him submission meant obeying, standing by the rules and guidelines set by the Dominant party and that the introduction of D/s brings a whole new dimension to any relationship. It can intensify a couple's connection, make it more powerful, stable and secure. I didn't lie. I meant every word and I still do.</strong><br />
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I remember vaguely, before we got to the stage of properly implementing our dynamic that I told Daniel I was afraid of submission now; that after a whole year of being predominantly quite in control of all aspects of my life, I concerned that I would not be a good submissive. It appears now that the D/s is incorporated, that there may have been a weight of truth in my fear. I am not being a good submissive. I'm not sure if Daniel has fully acknowledged that (but I do know he's picked up on several of my failings this far) but I have recognised my submission is not close to the level I want it to be - need it to be or am used to it being. And you know something? It is so very frustrating.<br />
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I know there'll be a handful of folk within the community with several years experience who will shake their heads at my revelation. I already hear the comments of "It doesn't really matter how long you've been out of the swing of things. If you're a submissive, then you're a submissive." Yeah, quite right. I am still a submissive. All my desires, my wants, my needs and my dreams of the future are built solidly around the foundations of my submission. I want to live my life in no other way than to serve and please the man who loves me entirely. I want to bask in his control, strive under his power and live by his command.<br />
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But all those of us with experience also credit this: while submission is a part of your natural being, it is also a mind-set. It becomes something that incorporates into your thoughts at some point every day. <em>What happens when you've gone so long holding the power in your own hands that your thoughts become accustomed to the focus of being Dominant? When there is never a break in the day where you can just switch over from your 'vanilla' life and just.... breathe in your submission, reconnect with yourself and simply hand over? When for the best part of a year that door has been closed shut and you're without the key to let yourself back in? </em><br />
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If you're a regular reader of the Blog you'll know Daniel and I hit some waves along the way of getting to this happier place in our relationship. At some point, things got so bad that I began to loathe myself as a submissive woman - desperately wanting to be the perfect vanilla kind Daniel had fallen in love with before me. He never wanted nor expected that from me, but I needed it to feel secure. Unfortunately, that loathing scratched not just the surface but it cut on the inside. I started to resent submission. More importantly... I fought my desire for it. Now the combination of simply not being submissive and then fighting the urge to be has resulted in this - 'bad' submission. <br />
<br />
I am frustrated. I want to be better than I'm being and I need to be. <br />
This is Daniel's first time as a Dominant man, he's barely stepped over the threshold of D/s and I'm already panicking he'll change his mind about the whole idea because I haven't stepped up to the mark. Giving him something that in my opinion, is not what I should be.<br />
<br />
Like all D/s relationships go - ours has a set structure of rules. Our dynamic isn't so heavy that our list runs into a book's worth, it's a small collection of reasonable asks, things that should and could be done easily and yet I can count several that I've managed to fall short on. At the moment, punishment is something barely discussed and a long way off implementing. I'm glad of this because I feel our relationship needs to build at a steady pace. But under the sensible approach of taking things slowly, am I swayed to step outside of the boundaries knowing there are no consequences to be met with? <br />
I am not a brat. I will not break a rule for purpose of punishment but I acknowledge I feel safe even when I step over the lines and don't do as asked. There is no sense of restraint. On the other side of the coin, I feel elated, satisfied and accomplished when I achieve. When I have genuinely kept within the guidelines of our relationship, I feel secure, proud, happy. <br />
<br />
Just now I'm struggling to switch. Being Dominant within my family structure, my work, my personal life and then trying to cross over to being submissive is proving a harder task than I envisioned. I guess I've been out of the cycle for some time and the transition between the two is more difficult than I remember it and sometimes I don't even recognise I'm failing a rule until it's done.<br />
<br />
I know I have so much to offer Daniel. My whole heart aches to bring him love and submission in ways he's never known it, to take such good care of his body and mind and yet I'm involuntary throwing rocks in the path. I have a lot to change. I have a lot of growing and learning left to do - and it starts today.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.doomarketing.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/Rule-Book8.jpg" target="_blank"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Picture Credit</span></a>Ehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09233610907992704938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7237891908687439787.post-56252134570444117132014-08-11T14:17:00.003-07:002014-08-15T07:03:17.458-07:00Update!<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOubyl87FkdJ3C9YuwlDxYA-sEtiIr9BzErEIXCWqr8EqShd0ZzOacdxNHbqsLv-nsUX765-SLyyivRJFoiawf8_sU9drCaqikxIgwyg5rkrqkE2y8LfDSNduS1uOAA0wlxBfP2ydaaSVp/s1600/smackdown-update.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOubyl87FkdJ3C9YuwlDxYA-sEtiIr9BzErEIXCWqr8EqShd0ZzOacdxNHbqsLv-nsUX765-SLyyivRJFoiawf8_sU9drCaqikxIgwyg5rkrqkE2y8LfDSNduS1uOAA0wlxBfP2ydaaSVp/s1600/smackdown-update.jpg" height="135" width="200" /></a></div>
<strong>I'm back, after a month's break and I am back with an update, an apology and absolute promise.</strong><br />
<strong>I don't really have any excuses for my absence in blogging. I've been busy with the school summer break, I've been lazy and if I'm honest about it all - I suppose I've been a bit unmotivated. </strong><br />
<strong>It's a big jump, coming over from the old blog which accumulated a massive amount of followers and likes to starting over at a new place with a new theme.</strong> <br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
<br />
I was excited for the change which I felt at the time, fitted my life more appropriately but the motivation to continue as a regular Blogger seemed to fail me. Maybe my then vanilla relationship took more of my thoughts than I had to give to the Blog. I genuinely believe I was so heavily concentrated in trying to make my relationship work that I struggled to schedule the time for anything else. I quickly found that what had started out as a freedom escape - coming here to talk about all things BDSM when I was not being a submissive in my private life - was fast becoming a burden. I'd write about Dominance and submission and I'd leave my blogging sessions with a dull, heavy ache in my heart. But, it remains that I've spent a number of years building up my reader base and my plentiful cyber friendships and my absence in our corner of erotic weirdness, isn't really acceptable. So I apologise and with that, I sincerely hope my regular readers are still with me. <br />
You know I'd miss your mails!<br />
<br />
So, the update. <br />
This is so exciting for me. Genuinely. <br />
As you'll know already, Daniel and I have had a vanilla relationship for a long time! To give you an idea, November will mark a year since we met. It's been good. Sure, there's been times of frustration, some heated discussions, a few rows and a lot of deliberation but I can't say with any part of me that I regret having that relationship with Daniel. I did realise in time, that I am not suited to being a vanilla woman and the truth is I doubt now that I ever could be. I am almost certain of it. But going through the stages of a vanilla relationship has taught me a lot about myself I didn't know and it's given me an insight into my future, the things I'd want differently from before in a D/s relationship. <br />
Some of you now are sat thinking we've made the decision to split.<br />
<br />
Well no, it's not the case. Although, regretfully I feel we've come close to it once. <br />
Instead, Daniel and I have made a joint decision to move our relationship forward in a new way and he has (after a lot of consideration and thought) taken on the role of being the Dominant in our relationship. <br />
<br />
Whoa hold your horses, racy readers. We're not quite at the whips and chains stage yet. <br />
Well, maybe just the whips.<br />
<br />
<br />
It's been only a week (and one day) since we agreed to be a D/s couple. It's been the most secure week of our relationship in nine months. At least, in my opinion and I think Daniel would say the same. We are happier, more settled. There is a calmness about us and a security that feels stronger than it was before. A week is nothing, it is a miniscule amount of time in what I hope will be a lasting relationship but it's a starting block. We're at the initial taster session - claiming a glimpse into how our future could be and we're liking it.<br />
Prior to making the decision that has essentially transformed us, we'd become more experimental. Daniel had found an appreciation for bondage, rope and even pain sensation by the time we took on our current roles. He'd given us both the opportunity to explore parts of Dominance and submission together and I feel confident that he's confident in his choice to take the control.<br />
I hope that he is. <br />
<br />
It's early days, so much so I feel wary of even marking it on the calendar yet but already I feel good about things. Daniel is a good man, everything about him is wonderful and I'm excited to watch him transition into the incredible Dominant I am already sure he will become. I am hoping to the best kind of submissive he could ask for in return. He deserves the kind of love and appreciation my heart is aching to give to him. There'll be bumps in the road, mistakes on both our parts and amazingly special highs. I'll be sharing it all with you, as often as I can.<br />
<br />
So, we're down with the apology and we've covered the update and even started the premise of my promise. So here's the rest -<br />
<br />
You will be hearing more from me, my blog will be updated regularly. (Scouts honour!). I am blessed to have the opportunities to share the wonderful parts of my life with people who have given their support for a number of years. You are not just readers and statistics on my Blog 'overview' page. You are friends, like-minded individuals. You are encouragers, inspirers, supporters and sharers. Thank you for being a part of my world and for being the driving force behind my online presence. <br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><a href="http://alphamom.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/smackdown-update.jpg" target="_blank">Picture Credit</a></span>Ehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09233610907992704938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7237891908687439787.post-41921706214300905632014-07-15T05:33:00.002-07:002014-07-15T05:33:30.772-07:00Infinite Love<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijz0jWRwKgimYOUc4WWSgQwULVQXLE21Oie2Lnjmo7LMNXjqmlWIhdLm2zJe6G6G-m_U2zeBSgZ3xYsWVLF9zlBfRSv7eX01Am4LyxwMTcxgSEzPTXuyLTXI5NIwGDNEdt73VDY0sVZTIl/s1600/water-rings-300x200.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijz0jWRwKgimYOUc4WWSgQwULVQXLE21Oie2Lnjmo7LMNXjqmlWIhdLm2zJe6G6G-m_U2zeBSgZ3xYsWVLF9zlBfRSv7eX01Am4LyxwMTcxgSEzPTXuyLTXI5NIwGDNEdt73VDY0sVZTIl/s1600/water-rings-300x200.jpg" height="132" width="200" /></a><strong>I fell in love with you on our very first date, when my eyes defied me when I tried to look away from you for just a second at the train station.</strong><br />
<strong>I told myself it was because you were gorgeous - I just wanted to gaze at you, take all of you in for a moment. But as I looked into the deep pools of your eyes, I could have sworn I'd found your soul and it mated with mine; I believed I had searched for you a lifetime before that meet.</strong><br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
I didn't tell you this, of course. I didn't say anything.<br />
I just smiled awkwardly to myself at the pub, when I lifted my pint glass of coke from the table as you went to the restroom. I traced the ring that it left on the surface with my fingertips, several times around. It had no end, baby -<br />
I hope we are as infinite as the glass mark was that day.<br />
<em>Forever, lasting, always.</em><br />
<br />
We sat shoulder to shoulder in an unfamiliar place we'd never been to before and even through the cigarette stained seats, years old - your scent was overwhelming. I breathed you in like fresh air and made a promise to myself to memorise the way you smelt that day.<br />
<br />
Later, as the sun went down and we closed in on a conversation that could have been endless, I packed my nerves up into my stomach and took them with me on the train. I prayed the whole journey home that you'd call me soon - that night, the next, the week after. It didn't matter. I would have waited for you as I had done before I know you existed.<br />
<br />
There was no waiting.<br />
As soon as time allowed, we were embracing each other's company once again; and as we shared conversation and laughter over pool tables and leopard print sofas - I knew we'd found something truly special. The fondness I had for you grew - it blossomed - like flowers blooming in Spring showers. <em>Beautiful, colourful, dreamy.</em> I became an acre of happiness and purity in your presence.<br />
<br />
And I took that with me to bed when we made love for the first time.<br />
Our bodies connected, becoming a single entity. We invaded one another, shared each other - passionate and lust-laden but you were so gentle, so slow; I believed nobody had ever been so kind to my body as you were.<br />
Afterward, we lay in a tangled mess of limbs and torsos. I rest my head against your chest and felt your heart beat against my eardrum like a symphony of perfect notes I never want to forget.<br />
<br />
Months have passed now since I first fell asleep in your arms but every morning that I wake up to you, I feel it, my love. It is still there. Beating strong.<br />
Every time that we are together you claim another part of me. Soon, you'll have too many components of myself than I will want to admit.<br />
<br />
You have my heart now.<br />
It's bruised a little where I've dropped it; jagged around the edges where I've held on so tightly to what others have tried to take before you.<br />
But you have it now - my core being in the palm of your hand.<br />
Guard it, mind it, keep it safe; for it is there, my love for you resides -<br />
<br />
<strong>Infinite as the glass mark on the surface of the table where we first met.</strong><br />
<strong></strong><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><a href="http://blogs.discovermagazine.com/seriouslyscience/files/2013/08/water-rings-300x200.jpg" target="_blank">Picture Credit</a></span>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhl85r9kiQ4kzUTE5HqIY75ZS6kA69O9SP0yLQwjSJdIsjhoxQafXgjvxIXNJxHqrfkRNo0nicrgu9OZhXmDwrUwcy-iwAXhhXoja1V2TybrSN7bP9kNPX6-GGijavEmyN4bCihodTd8bwh/s1600/gift.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><strong><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhl85r9kiQ4kzUTE5HqIY75ZS6kA69O9SP0yLQwjSJdIsjhoxQafXgjvxIXNJxHqrfkRNo0nicrgu9OZhXmDwrUwcy-iwAXhhXoja1V2TybrSN7bP9kNPX6-GGijavEmyN4bCihodTd8bwh/s1600/gift.jpg" height="146" width="200" /></strong></span></a></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><strong>Infact, I'm not being unselfish at all.</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><strong>You see, when I submit, I do it just as much for myself as I do it for you.<br /> Of course, I hope you exult in my submission, treasure it and protect it. I hope you find the very depth of your happiness when your eyes take in the vision of me on my knees, bared naked before you. I pray that it makes you fulfilled, satisfies you and I hope you find pride in me giving myself over to you.</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"></span><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: inherit;">All of this goes without saying.</span></strong><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"></span><br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">And if you are the man who holds my submissive self in the palms of your trust-worthy hands, I can only confirm you do so because you earned the right to. No, I did not 'gift' this to you because you are a Dominant man. You earned it through being all the things that make up the reasons of why I choose to submit. All the reasons why my submission is in fact, not selfless at all.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">When I give you control, hold out my wrists for you to bind and part my lips for you to place the ball gag down heavy on the tip of my tongue - I feel elated.<br /> When the hard laminate presses onto my bare knees as I present before you, I feel peace through being surrendered. I submit because the emotions that flood through my veins when you wield the flogger to my sensitive skin, complete me. Submission makes me whole. It's why I choose this path for myself.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Through being a submissive woman, I take the opportunities to discover myself on deeper levels I could never have reached without relinquishing control. I am given the chances to learn about my wealth of endurance and commitment, how far my devotion can go when I am in love with someone. I learn better the values of trust and faith and hope. Learning to trust you to make decisions for me, having faith you will make each one wisely and hoping I will become a better person through you doing so.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I submit because it invades my mind and soul with confidence when I do, allowing me to achieve a sense of self-pride when I please you or do something that brings you joy - even if that something were so trivial it wouldn't matter to any other person than us. I am submissive because I thrive on the feeling of falling deeper in love with you when your eyes become lit with passion when you hurt me, restrain me, comfort me and guide me.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"></span><br />
<em><span style="font-family: inherit;">I am submissive because without it, I am in complete</span></em><br />
<em><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span></em><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">You have my submission because you have earned my trust, because I have chosen to place an immense amount of faith in you to do right by me as I will forever try to do my best for you.<br /> No, this is not a gift - at least, no more than your Dominance is a gift to me.<br /> It is a two-way street of mutual respect, love and trust.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"></span><br />
<em><strong><span style="font-family: inherit;">Nor is it selfless, I understand -<br /> because my submission serves me as much as it does yourself.</span></strong></em><br />
<strong><em><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span></em></strong><br />
<strong><em><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span></em></strong><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;"><a href="http://servingmasterdotcom.files.wordpress.com/2011/06/blindfoldedwoman.jpg" target="_blank">Picture Credit</a></span>Ehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09233610907992704938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7237891908687439787.post-21742267633352071672014-06-22T14:46:00.004-07:002014-06-22T14:47:21.892-07:0030 Days of submission: Day 12<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2Uo6Jim1422iLmDYs7SJNbTniCxDS575ATozFZUysW-s4H5b19OgpIS4JwQfCHUthZ153-uxgR0HfhbCmuBvNYevCKnCegRPAoQM-RAt-WpJpklxw_SXpzk7yYJLiVNTjVFDtTpW9olhP/s1600/money.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2Uo6Jim1422iLmDYs7SJNbTniCxDS575ATozFZUysW-s4H5b19OgpIS4JwQfCHUthZ153-uxgR0HfhbCmuBvNYevCKnCegRPAoQM-RAt-WpJpklxw_SXpzk7yYJLiVNTjVFDtTpW9olhP/s1600/money.jpg" height="180" width="200" /></a><strong>Do you include financial submission within the definition of your own submission and if yes, how does it manifest itself? If no, is there a particular reason why? Are you familiar with the concepts of financial submission? Do you have an opinion about financial submission in general?</strong><br />
<strong></strong><br />
I try not to 'pick and choose' the areas of my submission but I am not a born slave and decided quite some time ago that I would never want to be. My submission doesn't go into the depths of financial power exchange. <br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
Maybe it's because I am a mother, I feel it is important and essential to have a certain level of control over my financial situation; perhaps it's that I appreciate the freedom to buy/purchase the things I need and want at a particular time or maybe the combination of both. I am not a domesticated stay-at-home type of submissive that wants the partner to work while I don't. I would always like to be able to contribute to the earnings within a shared household and who wouldn't want some say over the money they've worked for? <br />
<br />
This said, I do believe that when co-living with a partner, the money earned between the both of you should be equal. There's no "I earn more, this percentage is mine" etc kind of value on my financial views at all and I would always run any expensive or larger purchases through my partner before committing to buy. That's called respect and not financial submission.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicLFwWr2knIgXPCno5z22pr0Abb_cZPcsuO43A6rfSkSXTzXEmcGI7DjWOzkJxsWrEbTgPESyaduZevUc3qmbLE7Wts0JxC-pvvfyDjTNYofqFpn_snV6y14UlcHcVzxkEpLKEmpFL/s1600/money.jpg" target="_blank"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Picture Credit</span></a>Ehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09233610907992704938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7237891908687439787.post-42101172774644844902014-06-22T14:35:00.004-07:002014-06-22T14:35:47.783-07:0030 Days of submission: Day 11<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVZVc4B2VHaHg1z8Rk-_mVSnoLKja1mTbKdQMlydYhs1lVak-nzgxihV25vKsO1L_k2JzYgUKwhyphenhyphenIJKM0aYf8td7gqtODdaa6xtjSXgJMAHcqy6acBuEBaEfG5gNMn_3Hecen3JxFYLQm9/s1600/img-thing.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVZVc4B2VHaHg1z8Rk-_mVSnoLKja1mTbKdQMlydYhs1lVak-nzgxihV25vKsO1L_k2JzYgUKwhyphenhyphenIJKM0aYf8td7gqtODdaa6xtjSXgJMAHcqy6acBuEBaEfG5gNMn_3Hecen3JxFYLQm9/s1600/img-thing.jpg" height="200" width="200" /></a><strong></strong><br />
<strong>Do you include service as a part of your expectations of your submission? How do you define service? What does it mean to you? If not, what is it about the concept of service that is not for you?</strong><br />
<br />
I can only be under the impression that every submissive and Dominant has a different idea about what 'Service Submission' actually means. For me, personally, it is about performing an act or 'service' which makes the life of my partner easier. When I am being submissive to a partner, I demand a lot - he has to carry the weight of a lot of responsibility within our relationship - I therefore, strive to return the effort he puts into our dynamic by doing things that make it easier for him to relax.<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />I will want to take care of the majority of the housework and chores. I will want to prepare the dinner, bring him breakfast in bed. Make his coffee, just how he likes it. Make sure his drinking glass is always full. I will iron his clothes, I will lay them out for him. Take off his shoes, massage his feet, rub his shoulders after a long day at the office. I want to run his baths, set the shower for him. <br />
<br />
I never expect praise or gratitude for the acts of 'service-orientated submission' I do. It becomes a natural part of my submission that is done without thought or search of thanks. <br />
<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/img-thing?.out=jpg&size=l&tid=43647093" target="_blank"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Picture Credit</span></a><br />
Ehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09233610907992704938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7237891908687439787.post-42691558643624780622014-06-08T14:18:00.002-07:002014-06-08T14:29:36.449-07:0030 Days of submission: Day 10.<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiz5N-VgyW6YLg-nLcxsWdi7QvtHcPgcE4ViiNxNtftv9RAXiTpvql1MroF7ouDuRjNauFJ6gJnvaYhxIw0MlqRw64GJLbiX8wCTTKWesLf9ALXX11WU-wf1pXH6DEnTWjPQJ7GViJxuCEj/s1600/tumblr_mz5j3rE3xM1s90x9co6_500.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiz5N-VgyW6YLg-nLcxsWdi7QvtHcPgcE4ViiNxNtftv9RAXiTpvql1MroF7ouDuRjNauFJ6gJnvaYhxIw0MlqRw64GJLbiX8wCTTKWesLf9ALXX11WU-wf1pXH6DEnTWjPQJ7GViJxuCEj/s1600/tumblr_mz5j3rE3xM1s90x9co6_500.jpg" height="200" width="133" /></a><strong>Does any element of BDSM </strong><strong>occur as a part of your submissive</strong><strong> relationships? How do you feel about BDSM? Is it core to your submission, peripheral or non-existent (other than the submission part)?</strong><br />
<strong></strong><br />
Someone mentions BDSM to me and I'm there, like "Give me some of that!"<br />
I'm a 'kinkster' through and through. I love power-exchange in general, completely even outside of sex - but then combining that powerful element of Dominance and submission with sex is quite incredible. I welcome it into my bedroom any day of the week. <br />
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I suppose it was the BDSM element of the lifestyle I love now, that first found me. <br />
Even at the very start of my sex exploration when I was younger, I felt unfulfilled through 'normal' sex. It was bland and it didn't excite me. The very first time I experienced kinkier sex, my entire attitude to sexual relationships changed. Rough sex was working for me. Even if we take the 'kink' out of sex completely - I know I'd still want the vanilla sex to be hard, fast and a little bit rough!<br />
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Of course, naturally kink has become a much more influential and desired part of my life. I have a list of 'loves' as long as my arm when it comes to BDSM and there's not a lot that I'm afraid of or wouldn't want to try. I'm into everything from mental erotic BDSM play to steel restraint, medical fetish, edge play, fantasy rape, impact play and so forth. Kinkier sex for me, is a massive arousal trigger and gives me the opportunity to connect with my submissive nature on a more personal, intimate and vulnerable level.<br />
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I've had relationships without it, and to an extent - my current relationship borderlines on non-kink but it's still something I crave and will likely always love doing with someone.<br />
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<a href="http://31.media.tumblr.com/c9c1a10800ced3d877d4be332c30b1b9/tumblr_mz5j3rE3xM1s90x9co6_500.jpg" target="_blank"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Picture Credit</span></a>Ehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09233610907992704938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7237891908687439787.post-64472434322581533632014-06-08T13:54:00.001-07:002014-06-08T13:54:01.827-07:0030 days of submission: Day 9<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3QBT05aiQgncdk2TxMNvFUxHgKiYq_khnzcfmvFrj2og-lxcfvG_fnYgJQDDR_gk3-6FBygyYbFCfe1TMWomdWon9jJ7hOLLBsxlSvvqiULO_61i4viwxUPOoKCIhCiQVevv6rmSyhV0A/s1600/RULE-BOOK.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3QBT05aiQgncdk2TxMNvFUxHgKiYq_khnzcfmvFrj2og-lxcfvG_fnYgJQDDR_gk3-6FBygyYbFCfe1TMWomdWon9jJ7hOLLBsxlSvvqiULO_61i4viwxUPOoKCIhCiQVevv6rmSyhV0A/s1600/RULE-BOOK.jpg" height="140" width="200" /></a></div>
<strong>Do you accept and/or expect structure, rules and limits as a part of your submission? How do you feel about them?</strong><br />
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The answer: Yes, yes and yes. <br />I think for me, personally, it's the structure within a D/s relationship I need much more than the 'kink' aspect of things. Even in a vanilla relationship, I find myself desperately wanting some form of structure and find myself getting frustrated on a daily basis over the lack of it. The same applies within a D/s dynamic, where in fact, the frustration is worse when structure is low.... because I <em>expect</em> it.<br />
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I've mentioned in previous posts that I have a personality which sometimes requires reigning in. I am a calm and peaceful person by nature but I have a separate side to me, that is often a challenge. When I am not under the influence of a Dominant - I am easily bored, I lose interest in things more quickly. I want my mind to stimulated, I want to be concentrating and knowing that there's a list of rules, a certain level of structure and limits and boundaries in my life and relationship - comforts me. I have recognised that I'm not just a happier person when I'm being submissive - but I prosper and thrive. I excel - in nearly everything I do. Even outside of my relationships, that balance of D/s which remains a fundamental point of my submission and personality, means that I am a better, healthier person all-round. I become in control of my own life, through 'being' under someone else's control. I become more efficient at work. I care about my body and lifestyle much more, and therefore end up looking better, not just feeling better. I am a more focused and happier parent. Everything in my life prospers when my structure is in place, especially my relationship. <br />
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When there is nothing, when the boundaries are simply not there to be crossed... I almost stop caring. <br />I take less care of myself, then wind up hating my image and how I generally feel because I've let things slip. I can't remain calm and peaceful when a disagreement arises between my partner and I - I just get hurt and hurt back. It's like the respect slips away for a while. I cry more easily, I become easily irritable. I panic over things, I fret and worry and everything seems to be such a struggle. I know that I need for things to be in place and then consistent when they're put there - to feel happy.<br />
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Maybe I am too reliant on structure, who knows? <br />
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<a href="http://printclublondon.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/RULE-BOOK.jpg" target="_blank"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Picture Credit</span></a>Ehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09233610907992704938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7237891908687439787.post-23998302242032386092014-05-29T15:19:00.004-07:002014-05-29T15:19:35.320-07:0030 Days of submission: Day 8<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJbdIK8bY8Bz22V45mnqCirR7TFpZEaMTAURiiX4qpOZ95rEdMDsIcSIvLHSe9m_tf34bfSGqGKTqSsCSgMzlr1uU3Qbt9X2jxhbFdxtQ7gedUF8AThgjgFmsVbgUKZAtzRj_0pfDuUssG/s1600/spank.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJbdIK8bY8Bz22V45mnqCirR7TFpZEaMTAURiiX4qpOZ95rEdMDsIcSIvLHSe9m_tf34bfSGqGKTqSsCSgMzlr1uU3Qbt9X2jxhbFdxtQ7gedUF8AThgjgFmsVbgUKZAtzRj_0pfDuUssG/s1600/spank.jpg" height="133" width="200" /></a><strong>Is spanking</strong><strong> or corporal punishment</strong><strong> a part of your submission? </strong><br />
<strong>Why or why not?</strong><br />
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So now you know, that when I'm in a D/s relationship - discipline and punishment are usually part of the fixtures - in most cases , either one would not be spanking or corporal punishment. <br />I am a masochistic and anyone who gets involved with me knows from very early on that pain and impact play sets my sexual senses alight. Pain gets me aroused, I get wet and incredibly turned on when I am spanked, or whipped or just generally hurt by (almost) anything. So I guess bending me over the knee and spanking me in a means to punish me - would not really work. <br />
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This said, as masochistic as I might be, I have a very love/hate relationship with caning. <br />In the right setting, at the right time and in the right mood - I enjoy caning as a sexual experience and pleasure. I can get aroused by it during scene because it appeals to my need for pain and it also creates a bond with my more submissive side... of wanting to be pushed and taken beyond my limits. Caning makes me cry sometimes, it brings out the tears and I love that when I am being <em>very</em> intimate with someone I am close to. I also adore the welts left behind from a caning session.<br />
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BUT - there are times I hate caning. Times where I can't think of a worse thing other than being caned. Days where I would beg not to be caned. So, when I've messed up and truly crossed a line, smashed through a boundary and caning becomes the selected choice for punishment - it does work.<br />
It stops being a turn-on and becomes something un-enjoyable. Looking back on all the years that I've been actively submissive - I can safely say caning has been one of the most effective forms of punishment I've experienced. <br />
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Of course, the problem is - any Dominant or partner that ever brought corporal punishment into our relationship would also need the sense and know me well enough to understand when that would work - <em>and when it wouldn't.</em> <br />
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<a href="http://www.swingersblog.nude-beach-sex.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/bdsm-spanking.jpg" target="_blank"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Picture Credit</span></a>Ehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09233610907992704938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7237891908687439787.post-50463996700195184192014-05-26T15:11:00.002-07:002014-05-26T15:11:14.001-07:00Review:: Studded Spanking Paddle <br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidRm5YTUlFrb4l22zBFU6Y1yQhH5KT3XMQwjybZyEBNAnpgQqd-iSzRnxLx80oWPLx2c5hJZGpb4gtw0n3GEYYzDFf1ghBtaq0IvQ_YRjn5Qy9H7l0uGa2pIbTf_4h7UWmhF47IXHBd6ts/s1600/VA06.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><strong><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidRm5YTUlFrb4l22zBFU6Y1yQhH5KT3XMQwjybZyEBNAnpgQqd-iSzRnxLx80oWPLx2c5hJZGpb4gtw0n3GEYYzDFf1ghBtaq0IvQ_YRjn5Qy9H7l0uGa2pIbTf_4h7UWmhF47IXHBd6ts/s1600/VA06.jpg" height="200" width="200" /></strong></a><strong>Calling all spanking lovers! It's been a while since I've written a review. I know, it's naughty so... (you guessed it!) spank me! ;) </strong><br />
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<strong>But I promise, it was worth the wait to get here today if you're looking for a new toy to supplement your growing collection of spanking material! <br />Today I'm briefly covering the Studded Spanking Paddle from Bondara.co.uk.</strong> <br />
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<strong>This favourite and classic leather spanking paddle features a studded design, a retaining strap and plenty of umpf! A best-selling spanking paddle ideal for erotic punishment games.</strong><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">Description taken from Bondara.co.uk</span><br />
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I'm not usually a keen user of paddles. Although I enjoy spanking on both a masochistic and submissive level, it rates fairly low on the scale of 'fetishes'. When I am spanked, I am timeless and prefer the old-fashioned hand-to-ass action. I am definitely more for the more intimate spanking that requires his skin on mine. BUT sometimes implements can be good and mix it all up. Paddles take up a smaller section of my bedside drawer but this is one that I'd easily put in with the favourites. <br />
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So this studded paddle is made with leather. It's soft leather so bends a little but gains credit for not feeling flimsy - both in your hand or on your ass. It's flexible and firm - which is perfect for spanking play that isn't too brutal or severe. It comes with a retaining strap which give sit extra points on my scoring card. I don't care how many years you've been practicing BDSM, how many asses you've turned red or how many toys you've used to get the effect - accidents happen and even the most simple of instruments can slip out of your grip too easily! Retaining straps definitely serve as a preventative measure and I think it's an added bonus this gorgeous looking paddle comes with one already. <br />
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The studded design makes this paddle perhaps quite a bit more attractive looking than your standard 'plain' look paddle. Personally, plain paddles seem to lack excitement for me and the ones with the XO design or the words such as "slut" or "bitch" really turn me off so this kind of design works for me best. Of course, everyone is different - but I'm reviewing their product on a personal level only. <br />The studs also create extra sensation when being spanked. The mix of soft leather and colder, metal studs are a great combination and feel amazing when they hit the skin.<br />
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If you are a submissive who likes the aftermath bruises or markings from spankings, or if you're a Dominant that finds pleasure in seeing the effect of your handy-work then this paddle could be right for you. The studs are more than aesthetically pleasing - they leave really lovely marks on the flesh, that if hit hard enough, can last for quite some time. <br />
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Obviously, this next statement depends on the pain threshold of the 'spankee' and the force of the 'spanker' to some degree, but I would class this paddle as 'moderate' on the pain scale. Making it a gentle but still exciting toy for the more masochistic of us and still an appropriate toy for anyone who just wants to experiment with pain and sensation play. <br />
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Ehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09233610907992704938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7237891908687439787.post-48308040423977950662014-05-26T14:51:00.002-07:002014-05-26T14:51:30.977-07:0030 Days of submission: Day 7<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_oHxNK6nkt9q4rAcCzHTnMGPMY1oWWkEjLyBGUJ2_UJj5JSKF6sUYyFKN-bwEM4PKSPzX9-f-5ea3n2xLvsdhCwEwOiAk0mVNgEeUkSiFpYWq-jeKxYH9GLm4sur9KGMKEYJo4D69CbVS/s1600/8b1d46390e4896e4ad6d7a73a4892bd5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_oHxNK6nkt9q4rAcCzHTnMGPMY1oWWkEjLyBGUJ2_UJj5JSKF6sUYyFKN-bwEM4PKSPzX9-f-5ea3n2xLvsdhCwEwOiAk0mVNgEeUkSiFpYWq-jeKxYH9GLm4sur9KGMKEYJo4D69CbVS/s1600/8b1d46390e4896e4ad6d7a73a4892bd5.jpg" /></a></div>
<strong>Do you accept and/or expect discipline or punishments as a part of your submission? <br />How do you feel about it?</strong><br />
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I've already briefly covered this in the last post (Day 6). With so many questions and with them all being quite in-depth, some of my answers might seem a little repetitive at times. <br />Discipline for me, personally, is more important than punishment is; although I am definitely the kind of submissive who benefits from the both. The difference between them is - Discipline is something I want. Punishments are something I sometimes need but never really want. <br />
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I am aware of my personality traits both as a vanilla person and as a submissive woman. <br />When I first started out in the kink community, some Dominants who played with me would have labelled me a 'brat'. I think I've come a long way since then and while I definitely don't categorise myself under that label anymore, there are times where my more stubborn nature or my reluctance for certain things, still comes through. I answer back sometimes and I find if I feel more reigned in or disciplined, I am much less likely to do that. I am naturally quite a feisty person (at times) too. I don't seek confrontation and am generally considered a peace-maker amongst my friends and family. But arguments and disagreements rear their head occasionally and when they do... I can be hurtful. I will raise my voice or say nastier things than I would want to. It's often the case that I'll say something and then deeply regret it later. This is where I absolutely need discipline. For someone who has my submission already to just simply say to me... "Enough, now." or "Stop it, baby." <br />
Scenarios like that and all I really need is a gentle but firm warning; it will usually stop me in my tracks and make me think about my next sentence much more carefully.<br />
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Sometimes it fails. I guess that's where punishments come into the equation. <br />I have an aversion to Dominants who threaten and never carry through. Don't get me wrong, I dislike any Dominant who wants to punish too easily or just because but for goodness sake - keep to your word. <br />Don't tell me "If you do this (insert wrong thing/broken rule) I will do this (insert punishment method, consequence)" - and then let it go and don't follow through with your threat - I will think you are a walkover. I will assume the upper-hand. I will have taken control, or more effectively - you will have given me it. <br />
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This being said, punishments for me... should be few and far between to make my relationship with anyone successful. I would want to fundamental rules and discipline structure to be strong enough already to prevent punishment in most cases. I know that I thrive well through discipline and that I can be a good partner, lover, friend and submissive when I simply know someone can reign me in when I need it. <br />
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<a href="http://media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/8b/1d/46/8b1d46390e4896e4ad6d7a73a4892bd5.jpg" target="_blank"><span style="font-size: x-small;">PhotoCredit</span></a>Ehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09233610907992704938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7237891908687439787.post-48627999767794953182014-05-25T15:28:00.006-07:002014-05-25T15:30:53.661-07:0030 Days of submission: Day 6<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEix4SgapntR_07OFIRWvvVuuI-z-HpLxbIwsFFFXao59gcTqeOtSx5zmeJUHbmCOM3C6ldNaNL9fuzGFLgJcT37nAQXilH_3AklAT5A5lU4Vs9D1wgowE9mbovSmhce6TXpznH7Svqab_fg/s1600/spank.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEix4SgapntR_07OFIRWvvVuuI-z-HpLxbIwsFFFXao59gcTqeOtSx5zmeJUHbmCOM3C6ldNaNL9fuzGFLgJcT37nAQXilH_3AklAT5A5lU4Vs9D1wgowE9mbovSmhce6TXpznH7Svqab_fg/s1600/spank.jpg" height="137" width="200" /></a><strong>6) What do you feel are the roots of your submission? Do you think it has something to do with childhood? Is it a relationship management tool as in the practice of domestic discipline? Is it a sexual thrill or something else?</strong><br />
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I often get asked this question and my answer is always the same - It is simply part of my DNA. <br />
It's a common misconception that submissives and/or Dominants are usually created from being victims of childhood trauma or negative experience. While this is sometimes the case, it's actually quite rare. I've been asked whether I've been a victim of abuse, whether I have 'Daddy' issues or a problematic past which brings me to being submissive. The answer is 'no'.<br />
I am submissive just because that's what comes naturally to me.<br />
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I've never been a micro-managed submissive and I highly doubt that kind of submission will ever appeal to me, but certainly... I like the aspect of 'management' that comes with any kind of Power Exchange. For me, I struggle with my own emotions - experiencing them and dealing with them and being submissive gives me a way of passing the responsibility on to someone who can better manage my feelings for me. I enjoy being taken care of. Ironically, my parents brought me up to believe that I'd never need a man to look after me but it turns out I just don't want to be that independent. When it comes to my emotions, I want to be looked after. <br />
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I am a feisty person by nature too. Sometimes I am stubborn and I have an easily bored, addictive kind of personality. I can fall off the rails too easily at times and Domestic Discipline reigns me in, keeps me grounded. I don't just want that... I need it because it's beneficial to me and likewise, it's beneficial to my relationships.<br />
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Of course, much of what I do is a sexual thrill.. I'd be lying if I said being whipped or spanked or called certain names doesn't make me wet between the thighs. It does. A lot of what I've practiced have been erotic, sensual experiences which have heightened my sexuality a great deal. But even with the sexual acts of D/s... how I feel runs much deeper than that. The incredible sensation of handing over control - inside and outside of the bedroom - completely fulfils me. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgriMTN345zzExFalJHTw78tP34QvHO3CpPk4II3RM2nc319Lwoyp5_YPPiKr_IXNqHxB9VPwL4kIkuqabWFQjOCYBy7mJbuNVoYuy_uu3Ym5cal7raBrYQDhLQ0qdw7loxL8ZyYFhEz7tt/s1600/spank.jpg" target="_blank"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Picture Credit</span></a>Ehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09233610907992704938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7237891908687439787.post-91379290427341297282014-05-16T14:10:00.002-07:002014-05-16T14:37:29.966-07:0030 Days of submission: Day 5<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglUWOXJFr57eTa4ubJwQLWTDYAu4QqSDr3_QMUe9UZFLWzlTBRgD2U1t0V2_A0t2hkuptRQV6EQUFYA5nBjy-OBZv4xD4n0phObb36cRoOVYNG0MWIuAxstgPCH1cWjB9eEWg4bL5R6H29/s1600/446133523_Customer_relationship_xlarge.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglUWOXJFr57eTa4ubJwQLWTDYAu4QqSDr3_QMUe9UZFLWzlTBRgD2U1t0V2_A0t2hkuptRQV6EQUFYA5nBjy-OBZv4xD4n0phObb36cRoOVYNG0MWIuAxstgPCH1cWjB9eEWg4bL5R6H29/s1600/446133523_Customer_relationship_xlarge.jpg" height="149" width="200" /></a></div>
<strong>5) Have you been or are you in a dominant/s</strong><strong>ubmissive dynamic relationship or is this new to you?<br />Have you been in more than one D/s relationship? How were they the same? How were they different? What is unique about your relationships in your mind?</strong><br />
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Regular readers of my blog will already know that D/s and the relationship dynamic between a Dominant/submissive isn't new to me. In terms of my relationships being similar or very different from one another - it is the same as any relationship goes. Every time you get with a new partner, it is different. If it was all the same, we wouldn't bother with moving on right? <br />
Of course, all my D/s relationships had something in common - power exchange. <br />
He (my partner at the time) would be in control, he would have the power, while I would be submissive to him. The level on which that power is exchanged, the ways in which it's done and the structure or foundations of our relationship would be personal to us.<br />
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For example, one of my D/s relationship was heavily structured on protocol. There'd be low, medium and high protocol and I would switch between them when required to, based on circumstance and situation. That relationship included aspects of discipline and punishments, a strict set of rules and boundaries. Sado/Maso play and humiliation took part in a lot of our scenes and our relationship was very community-involved. <br />
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The other D/s relationship I had was much more relaxed. Of course, the obvious power exchange was there and he always remained in control. But there was no real protocol structure, a smaller set of "rules" and while discipline and punishments were still a piece of our relationship, they were rarer and more softly carried out. . And overall, was a more gentle, loving relationship. <br />
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My current relationship, although not a D/s one still maintains some level of power exchange. This usually happens in the bedroom but does shine through in other areas of 'us'. But there are no rules, no structure or boundaries and neither one of us is really in control until the clothes come off. <br />
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This is such a vague answer to what was an essentially in-depth question but really the best I could post. Every relationship is different, every relationship is unique- Being together, particularly in a D/s dynamic is all about finding the perfect balance of what works for you both.<br />
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<a href="http://images.sodahead.com/polls/003764282/446133523_Customer_relationship_xlarge.jpeg" target="_blank"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Photo Credit</span></a><br />
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<em></em><br />Ehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09233610907992704938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7237891908687439787.post-31038711233639925902014-05-12T15:32:00.004-07:002014-05-12T15:32:51.679-07:0030 Days of submission: Day 4<em></em><br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgm6a35QwsExJkTsJvgFtDkZKjewAQkLgEBv14xVOuFPYlJFEoMUaqNE7IP7gT2jQekfIpsJ7fLRZxAYzm71CON2jKZhNPPvIS-WRzYe-nfPTjWhOT1y0ys5qraMVz8Os6wxFp3SC2c21cR/s1600/BDi4fkiCUAARcLV.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgm6a35QwsExJkTsJvgFtDkZKjewAQkLgEBv14xVOuFPYlJFEoMUaqNE7IP7gT2jQekfIpsJ7fLRZxAYzm71CON2jKZhNPPvIS-WRzYe-nfPTjWhOT1y0ys5qraMVz8Os6wxFp3SC2c21cR/s1600/BDi4fkiCUAARcLV.jpg" height="200" width="146" /></a><strong>4) Do you switch into a dominant role at any time? If you are in a domestic discipline relationship, are there things that you maintain control over? Are you a “switch” in BDSM terms? If not, have you ever thought about it or given thought to why it’s not for you?</strong><br />
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Inside of my relationships, I steer clear of being Dominant. It's never been something I've had to consciously think about not doing- it doesn't happen because I'm just simply not wired that way. <br />
<a name='more'></a><br />Even in my current vanilla relationship, I'd certainly be inclined to say I am the more submissive between the two of us. Of course, it's not an obvious show of submission most of the time, though.<br />My partner and I are on an equal, level grounding. It's not what I would pick as the 'ideal' option if ever there was one but it works. It works for me because I know that makes him happy, and part of my submissive nature, if not almost all of it, is about making my significant other 'happy'. I don't get a kick or a thrill out of being more Dominant than I would usually be; I don't get that inner-peace that I experience through submission, through being his equal partner but it doesn't make me unhappy either. I am comfortable.<br />
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Before my current relationship, I've never considered being a Dominant woman. Nothing about it really appeals to me and most everything about it almost stands against my personal beliefs. I once tried 'topping' - nearly eight years ago. It wasn't something I chose to explore for my own curiosity but more something I agreed to do before deciding I definitely fell into the submissive category of kinksters. I needed to be sure of what I wanted before I properly started my journey onto the scene. <br />I try not to think too hard about the experience but I remember it being awkward, clumsy, uncomfortable and truly dissatisfying. It stirred no emotion other than a sense of dread and it certainly didn't spark any of my arousal fuses. <br />
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More recently I've considered the possibility of 'switching'. Even now though, it's not an attractive thought as such but something I'm contemplating out of what I feel may become a necessity. My partner and I engage in kink and sexual power-exchange. It's a new element to our otherwise vanilla relationship and it happens only very occasionally (mainly due to a longer-distance relationship) but my God...when it happens, it happens...<br />
It feels incredibly good being submissive to him in the bedroom. My mind becomes engaged, my body becomes so much more sensitive to his touch, his words. I can feel a transformation take over, my confidence starts to soar and I feel like I'm becoming insatiable. I get this warm feeling in the pit of my stomach that sends waves through to my heart (it literally feels that overwhelming) and I am consumed with aches and desires to completely submit to him and please him. I am taken to a different place, somewhere cathartically beautiful and I fall for him - hard.<br />
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So, you may be wondering now where the contemplation of 'switching' even comes into things. <br />I guess fear plays a massive part in it all. Where as I am used to being able to relinquish control, I am now in a position where I need to keep hold of it. At least, part of it and I fear that I will become so content with my submission to him in the bedroom, that I will start to feel incapable of leaving it there. Already, that is a very real possibility. In my mind I have worked it out that if I can 'top' sometimes, sexually that it will make the 50/50 ratio within the rest of our relationship, a much easier dynamic. I am also aware that the more I relax into being submissive around him, the much more open I am as a person. I allow emotion to play a much more significant part than I do without being submissive. Which is good and can be a beautiful thing, but at a time where I am still working on becoming a more sufficient vanilla partner, I need to be more in control of my feelings. <br />
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<a href="https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BDi4fkiCUAARcLV.jpg" target="_blank"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Photo Credit</span></a><br />
Ehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09233610907992704938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7237891908687439787.post-74335238361906449432014-05-11T13:03:00.002-07:002014-05-11T13:03:21.430-07:0030 Days of submission: Day 3<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXw4pXD1Uv9728M1r3s-wsGROHktbvGGukyrZpRrEq8mNyXL9vN2KlUpEgIie86FgD1d7wdUssW-cYKXuEz8OT29RHbv9dj1agO1wA5FhAp9fproVvpeE9Ey7SaW2IVvEprQYAEouuvttF/s1600/katys-bdsm-photo-of-the-week-7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXw4pXD1Uv9728M1r3s-wsGROHktbvGGukyrZpRrEq8mNyXL9vN2KlUpEgIie86FgD1d7wdUssW-cYKXuEz8OT29RHbv9dj1agO1wA5FhAp9fproVvpeE9Ey7SaW2IVvEprQYAEouuvttF/s1600/katys-bdsm-photo-of-the-week-7.jpg" height="200" width="173" /></a></div>
<strong>3) How do you know you are submissive or have the potential to be submissive? How do you feel when you express your submission?</strong><br />
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I'm a firm believer that you don't ever truly 'become' something. At least not something like being a submissive or a Dominant. Of course, we might not explore or even find these parts of ourselves until much later on in life but who we are is determined on the day we are born, maybe even before then. <br />
I tell most people that I discovered I was a submissive when I was seventeen. It's not a mistruth entirely - It was aged seventeen that I became in touch with the particles of my personality that make me a submissive being. <br />
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But, looking back (I know, hindsight is a wonderful thing) I recognise that I was a non-dominant personality long before that point. <br />
Recollecting the memories of my childhood, I can pinpoint several times where I was submissive - be it at school, at home or even socially with friends. It's obvious to me now even more than it was then - that I was simply never born to be a leader. <br />
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Fast forward to age seventeen - By now I'd already tried the 'vanilla' scene. Mildly, but then at that age, who has really done much more than that? Nonetheless, it was a small dose of something I didn't like or enjoy. Sex was bland, unsatisfying - plain. I remember going through the motions of being intimate but that's all it was; almost like a rehearsed act of minimum physical sensation and faked moans of pleasure. We, as humans, are designed to enjoy the physical side of sex - and I did in the sense that cock felt great when it penetrated me but my mind was simply not engaged. I knew that something was missing, I just didn't know what I was trying to find. <br />
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I won't go through the boring and complex details of how I got into discovering the community - but to give you an insight, it started with a quick search in a Google box. Several phone calls later, and an address where kinksters met regularly, were my stepping stones onto the scene - I've never looked back since. Through play and close mentoring, things started to make sense; I was finally getting in touch with my roots; more specifically- my submission. <br />
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I knew then and still know that I'm submissive, through the way my mind and body responds to certain things...<br />
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Like the way my heart beats a bit faster when I hear the sound of metal click around my wrists. <br />How wet I get between the thighs when I'm being hurt, the way my skin tingles and gets warm when the flogger hits down hard or my ass cheeks meet with the heavy hand of someone taking pleasure from causing me pain. I fall in love with the way I get exasperated from being so used and fucked brutally, helplessly but still find myself begging for more. <br />My whole inner-self melts when I hear the words...."Good girl." "Little girl" and "Baby girl" particularly when they are said out of praise for genuinely doing... good. <br />
I thrive on rules and structure and routine, knowing where's OK to go and where isn't...I need to know that if I step over the mark, cross a line... that I will learn from it. <br />When I'm down and sad or fretting, I will tear up and get fearful if I don't get the emotional release that I need to feel better. Sometimes receiving pain and handing over control becomes a need, not just a desire.<br />
Every part of my being is desperately hungry to serve. I want to live to serve... to wait on a man who loves me. My body aches to show devotion to someone always. I want to hand over the reigns and let someone else be in charge so that I can focus my attention completely...on satisfying my partner. <br />
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When I'm not submitting... I feel empty, lonely. <br />
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Of course, submission comes with it's pitfalls or the parts that are slightly more difficult to do. <br />It means learning to trust, in unbelievably strong ways. It means being willing to do things that don't appeal to you, things that you sometimes don't like or enjoy but doing them simply because you've made the commitment to submit. If you can always be content with having the backseat, instead of the steering wheel, following rather than leading, saying 'yes' and barely whispering the word 'no' - and trusting someone to know you maybe even better than you know yourself, then you probably have the potential to be submissive. For me, I was never meant to be a leader, all the money in the world could never pay me to take charge...I want to follow, always. <br />
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<strong>The answer in short:<br /><br />How do you feel when you express your submission?</strong><br />
<strong><em><span style="color: #f3f3f3;">Alive.</span></em></strong><br />
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<a href="http://www.katyswann.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/katys-bdsm-photo-of-the-week-7.jpg" target="_blank"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Photo Credit</span></a>Ehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09233610907992704938noreply@blogger.com0